my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
you would pick up someone in the library
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
