i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
