Please, let me fuck your mom
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
So squirting runs in the family.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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