I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize