So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
