How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
