Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
So much Jack, so little girl.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Randomize