"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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