dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
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