this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
