Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
