Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Randomize
