On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize