Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
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