my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize