I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
