you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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