I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
