I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Randomize