singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Randomize
