I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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