So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
