i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Randomize
