I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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