I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
