I am puke
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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