Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
