whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
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