discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
