Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
