Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
