You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
