Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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