eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I wear drunk well.
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