this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Let's get the cat blown out
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
