Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
