What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
