Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
