i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
