and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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