I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
