Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
