You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
