i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
where are my eyebrows?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
