no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
