Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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