Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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