I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
