if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
