for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Randomize
