What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
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