Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I'm always down for nudity.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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