She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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