she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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