I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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