Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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