I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Randomize