Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
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