Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
