i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
