Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
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